Day 30 - a dream for the future
As I thought about today & this question the one "dream" that kept coming to mind was Babies...more babies.
That's my honest true dream. To have a house full of children, I already have 6 including Isaac & Hannah so why stop? It's already a big number so why don't we make it bigger?? I don't know what God's plans are but I know that when I think of "stopping" my heart aches.
When I think of the future I have this vision, I envision myself as this little old lady, sitting in my living room, my wrinkled frail hand in Dan's, & surrounding us our so so many children! I see my children, & their children, & their children. And oh how we all love one another & even more so we love God. We spend time in prayer & worship & my great grand babies cuddle up in my arms & even in my very old age I am still honored to breathe in that sweet baby scent.
I see my husband revered as the patriarch of the family, although he is aged the men consider his words of worth & value looking to him as a man of character.
Women come to me with their daughters seeking advice & wisdom from me as God has grown me in Him over the years. They rise up & call me blessed (Prov 31:28)
I thank God for the honor of blessing me with children, I have yet to know if He will see fit to bless me with more. I hope He does, it's my dream.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
30 Posts in 30 Days....Day 29
Day 29 - hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days
Wow, where would I like to be during the next year? That's a really big question. I know physically I plan to lose weight & already have a wonderful group of women supporting me when I begin this upcoming Monday. So by this time next year I'd like there to be "less of me" & for there to be consistent good eating habits. Also, I'd like to make a serious dent in recovering from the debt we're in & to be headed toward purchasing our own home. After Dan's surgery & his being laid off for 7 months we need to pay off some big bills & I want to get those taken care of over the next 365 days.
Hopes?
I'd like to start making more baskets for BLM's. I've made a few & really like blessing Mommie's with them but haven't had the funds, I really hope God provides for that ministry over the next year.
And Dreams????
I dream of living life fully~of dancing with my daughters, laughing with my husband & praising God with abandon.....
Wow, where would I like to be during the next year? That's a really big question. I know physically I plan to lose weight & already have a wonderful group of women supporting me when I begin this upcoming Monday. So by this time next year I'd like there to be "less of me" & for there to be consistent good eating habits. Also, I'd like to make a serious dent in recovering from the debt we're in & to be headed toward purchasing our own home. After Dan's surgery & his being laid off for 7 months we need to pay off some big bills & I want to get those taken care of over the next 365 days.
Hopes?
I'd like to start making more baskets for BLM's. I've made a few & really like blessing Mommie's with them but haven't had the funds, I really hope God provides for that ministry over the next year.
And Dreams????
I dream of living life fully~of dancing with my daughters, laughing with my husband & praising God with abandon.....
Thursday, October 28, 2010
30 Posts in 30 Days....Day 28
Day 28 - what's in your handbag/purse
Miscellaneous receipts & coupons,
chap stick,
eye drops,
several tubes of lipstick,
lotion,
hydrocortisone cream,
sunglasses,
a straw,
3 pairs of socks,
my wallet,
......and a dog.
Miscellaneous receipts & coupons,
chap stick,
eye drops,
several tubes of lipstick,
lotion,
hydrocortisone cream,
sunglasses,
a straw,
3 pairs of socks,
my wallet,
......and a dog.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
30 Posts in 30 Days.....Day 27
Day 27 - your worst habit since your child's death.
My worst habit by far is not sleeping.
When Isaac died in February of '08 I stopped sleeping. I always had that problem when I would get upset about something, I just couldn't sleep. I'd lie in bed tossing, turning, & thinking. But with Isaac it was different. I stopped eating & drank a pot of coffee everyday, mind you I didn't drink coffee before. I didn't eat until I was completely famished & weak and then I'd only eat enough to get by. I would stay up all night watching TV, I just didn't want to face tomorrow. I dreaded that moment of opening my eyes to the reality of my son's death. I wouldn't sleep until I was completely exhausted & even then I fought it.
Once Hannah died it was much worse, there were times I stayed awake til God brought the sun up. Now, I still have the same problem. I can't say I don't sleep because of the loss of my children it's just become a terrible habit that is hard to break because I associate sleep with the pain I endured at that time. So, it's definitely dysfunctional & myself, as well as my family is hurt by it. I don't function well on lack of sleep, does anybody??
Therefore, I'm not 100% for my children. And considering I have young ones they need so much of my time & it's hard to give.
I find that for me avoiding sleep is avoiding feelings somehow. If I'm too tired the next day then I have a lot of excuses for my behavior.
Somehow, it's very difficult for me to just rip off the band aid & go to bed. I've been doing this over 2 years now, I'm better~I don't stay up til 2 AM every night but I think I would if I could.
I wish I could say I have some awesome game plan for this dysfunction but I don't. I guess I really oughta start praying about it.
My worst habit by far is not sleeping.
When Isaac died in February of '08 I stopped sleeping. I always had that problem when I would get upset about something, I just couldn't sleep. I'd lie in bed tossing, turning, & thinking. But with Isaac it was different. I stopped eating & drank a pot of coffee everyday, mind you I didn't drink coffee before. I didn't eat until I was completely famished & weak and then I'd only eat enough to get by. I would stay up all night watching TV, I just didn't want to face tomorrow. I dreaded that moment of opening my eyes to the reality of my son's death. I wouldn't sleep until I was completely exhausted & even then I fought it.
Once Hannah died it was much worse, there were times I stayed awake til God brought the sun up. Now, I still have the same problem. I can't say I don't sleep because of the loss of my children it's just become a terrible habit that is hard to break because I associate sleep with the pain I endured at that time. So, it's definitely dysfunctional & myself, as well as my family is hurt by it. I don't function well on lack of sleep, does anybody??
Therefore, I'm not 100% for my children. And considering I have young ones they need so much of my time & it's hard to give.
I find that for me avoiding sleep is avoiding feelings somehow. If I'm too tired the next day then I have a lot of excuses for my behavior.
Somehow, it's very difficult for me to just rip off the band aid & go to bed. I've been doing this over 2 years now, I'm better~I don't stay up til 2 AM every night but I think I would if I could.
I wish I could say I have some awesome game plan for this dysfunction but I don't. I guess I really oughta start praying about it.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
30 Posts in 30 Days.....Day 26
Day 26 - your week, in great detail
Honestly, yesterday posting my day in great detail was really difficult. I really have a full plate & coming back & forth to the computer was not fun. I think it was OK that once but to post my week in great detail would take several weeks to put together. So, unfortunately I'm opting out of this one.
But hey, maybe I'll do it another time.
Honestly, yesterday posting my day in great detail was really difficult. I really have a full plate & coming back & forth to the computer was not fun. I think it was OK that once but to post my week in great detail would take several weeks to put together. So, unfortunately I'm opting out of this one.
But hey, maybe I'll do it another time.
Monday, October 25, 2010
30 Posts in 30 Days......Day 25 *lots of mentions of baby*
Day 25 - your day, in great detail
OK, I'm gonna try to work on this periodically throughout the next 10 hours or so cuz really, it's a lot of work to give my day "in great detail"
So, I woke up around 6:15 to Hopie's baby coos & talking. I really love when I wake up to those sweet sounds as opposed to having slept through that & now she's ticked & screaming for me. So this morning's alarm clock was a blessing. Honestly, I'm so groggy in the morning I really can't remember if I nursed her or not....I must have but it's a blur...OH!! Yea! Nursed in bed & fell asleep for about 10 minutes more & then she was grinning & talking with a full belly so we got up =)
I took her in the living room & put her in her Exersaucer to play while I got my morning started. I got a big glass of water & a Ghobani Greek Yogurt, so so sooooo yummy. But before having my morning snack I prayed. Ooh! I was having a hard time!! It's so hard the first few minutes to close my eyes & not fall back asleep, I mean I sit up & pray but maybe I should perch my toosh on the end of the sofa so I'm not too comfy =)
Anyway, God & I had a good talk, I really like Him. I know that sounds juvenile to some or maybe just too simple. But that's the truth, I really LIKE my God.
Then I texted Good Morning to my Angie Girl before she was off to school. I miss her ;(
OK, next I read His word, 1st & 2nd John & Psalm 1, not as much reading as I woulda liked but then Nomi woke up. Picture this~a petite girl with mussed up brown hair with a few wispy curls framing her face. She's all puffy eyed & smiles, with a yawn she says "Good Morning Mama"
I have happy smiles right now.
So she cuddles with me & chews on an apple as I finish up my Bible. Hope is bouncing & giggling~so far it's a good morning. Then the crabby Bear is up~Lana. I love my bear but she's not easy to please. She woke up complaining that we were too loud (?????) so I told her she needed to lay back down, she said she wanted to be with us so I said she could as long as she didn't complain.
At this point I was getting goofy tired again so I knew I was gonna fall asleep. I flipped on the TV & watched Dr. Creflo Dollar~he's pretty good, I've heard of him but never heard him preach. His sermon was encouraging & challenging & most definitely kept me awake!!
My Lana was feeling better & was smiley now.
So the girls got dressed & I warmed up some "pancapes" Angie cooked Saturday & gave Hope cereal, I always mash bananas in there & this time added a strawberry too. She was more then pleased :)
So now here we are, 3 hours later from where I began this post. Hope is having her morning nap, the girls are playing at the table & we're about to start school in just over 10 minutes.
......OK, for you it's been 1 or 2 seconds since the last sentence~for me it's been several hours & I'm pooped. School this morning DID NOT GO WELL. Hopie started fussing & screaming right away & I realized I didn't give her pain reliever for her teething gums. So I picked her up, gave her meds, & loved on her a bit. I laid her back down & she was very upset with me, so I'm trying to have a math lesson with Lana while going over Naomi's workbook with her & Hope is howling. I heard a loud thud & went running & praying into the bedroom thinking she fell out of the crib. Thank God she didn't, she must of been standing & fell backwards bonking her noggin on the headboard. After that ordeal I decided to throw in the towel & let her get up & we'd pick up our lessons after lunch. After she was happy on the & lose I realized I had to switch loads down in the basement =(
So I asked Lan to keep in eye on her as I ran like a maniac at top speed so my babies wouldn't be alone.
After I flew as fast as I could back upstairs I thoroughly enjoyed rollin around on the floor with my Rainbow Baby while the girls watched Micky Mouse Clubhouse. I gotta say, I love that show, it's pretty cute. Well, a little after 12 Hopie started rubbin her eyes & I gave her some lunch & laid her down. As I walked outta her room I looked across the hall to the bathroom & saw wet tissue stuck to the floor. Which only means one thing, Nomi peed on the floor & tried to clean it without telling me. But how could this be??
She was at that very moment laying on the floor watchin her show with the same clothes on.....
well, her pants were all wet!!!!!
I didn't have a good moment then, nowhere near a good moment. I was very very upset. I put her in the corner for not telling me. Peeing on the floor is an understandable mistake, trying to clean it up is actually very responsible but keeping the pee-pee clothes on. Mommy didn't handle that well.
So after I was more clear headed she & I cleaned up the bathroom floor with a bucket of vinegar & water. She kept telling me the floor was "duh-gusting'
Yea!! I know!!!!
The girls are waiting on some Mac n Cheese & so am I. I switched loads again just now & am planning on having some Astronomy & Literature lessons with the girls after we have our vittles. We'll see how that goes.
.....OK, it's now almost 8 pm. Hopie is in bed for the night aside from her 10 pm feeding with Mama, Nomi is eating some cookies for dessert, & Lana just finished up brushing her teeth.
However, I did stop with lunch so let me back up a bit. The girls & I had lunch with some homemade applesauce we made over the weekend =)
Lana wrote a story about "Dan & Jan" & read it to me with her own illustrations. Pretty cool. After a bit of time with me, the older girls played in their room with their princess tent while Hopie & I hung out. A little while after that I went to get the laundry from the basement after dropping a candle holder on my foot...nice. Things are startin to get kinda boring so I'll hit the highlights of the evening~Dan came home & we had a supper of Corned Beef & Cabbage, I just had the taste for it & it was yummy. I had to laugh because while it was cooking Nomi kept saying "something stinks" but she sure did wolf it down!!
During dinner Dan slipped over, looked me in the eye & said sweet things that took my breath away. Those words are mine to hold in my heart...I won't share =)
After wards Lana danced for me & Nomi joined her, it's really sweet~I'm seriously thinking of looking into dance lessons for Lan. She really loves it however, I have to find a place that teaches tasteful dancing. Oh well, that's a whole different subject.
So now, Lana is practicing her reading while Nomi "reads" the story she wrote to Daddy. The night will end as it always does.....
Daddy reads the bible to the girls & pray with them before putting them to bed, they give me "eyes & nose" before running off to be shushed so as not to wake up the baby. They will go to sleep "hopefully" & I do the dishes & get Dan's lunch ready while he relaxes in front of the TV.
I then vedge with him & we may even have a meaningful conversation.
So that's my day in great detail, at least today....who knows what tomorrow will be like.
Oh & on one last note as I finish this up I hear Nomi behind me saying over & over "I farted, I farted, I farted"
Ahhh....to have sweet little ladies ^-^
OK, I'm gonna try to work on this periodically throughout the next 10 hours or so cuz really, it's a lot of work to give my day "in great detail"
So, I woke up around 6:15 to Hopie's baby coos & talking. I really love when I wake up to those sweet sounds as opposed to having slept through that & now she's ticked & screaming for me. So this morning's alarm clock was a blessing. Honestly, I'm so groggy in the morning I really can't remember if I nursed her or not....I must have but it's a blur...OH!! Yea! Nursed in bed & fell asleep for about 10 minutes more & then she was grinning & talking with a full belly so we got up =)
I took her in the living room & put her in her Exersaucer to play while I got my morning started. I got a big glass of water & a Ghobani Greek Yogurt, so so sooooo yummy. But before having my morning snack I prayed. Ooh! I was having a hard time!! It's so hard the first few minutes to close my eyes & not fall back asleep, I mean I sit up & pray but maybe I should perch my toosh on the end of the sofa so I'm not too comfy =)
Anyway, God & I had a good talk, I really like Him. I know that sounds juvenile to some or maybe just too simple. But that's the truth, I really LIKE my God.
Then I texted Good Morning to my Angie Girl before she was off to school. I miss her ;(
OK, next I read His word, 1st & 2nd John & Psalm 1, not as much reading as I woulda liked but then Nomi woke up. Picture this~a petite girl with mussed up brown hair with a few wispy curls framing her face. She's all puffy eyed & smiles, with a yawn she says "Good Morning Mama"
I have happy smiles right now.
So she cuddles with me & chews on an apple as I finish up my Bible. Hope is bouncing & giggling~so far it's a good morning. Then the crabby Bear is up~Lana. I love my bear but she's not easy to please. She woke up complaining that we were too loud (?????) so I told her she needed to lay back down, she said she wanted to be with us so I said she could as long as she didn't complain.
At this point I was getting goofy tired again so I knew I was gonna fall asleep. I flipped on the TV & watched Dr. Creflo Dollar~he's pretty good, I've heard of him but never heard him preach. His sermon was encouraging & challenging & most definitely kept me awake!!
My Lana was feeling better & was smiley now.
So the girls got dressed & I warmed up some "pancapes" Angie cooked Saturday & gave Hope cereal, I always mash bananas in there & this time added a strawberry too. She was more then pleased :)
So now here we are, 3 hours later from where I began this post. Hope is having her morning nap, the girls are playing at the table & we're about to start school in just over 10 minutes.
......OK, for you it's been 1 or 2 seconds since the last sentence~for me it's been several hours & I'm pooped. School this morning DID NOT GO WELL. Hopie started fussing & screaming right away & I realized I didn't give her pain reliever for her teething gums. So I picked her up, gave her meds, & loved on her a bit. I laid her back down & she was very upset with me, so I'm trying to have a math lesson with Lana while going over Naomi's workbook with her & Hope is howling. I heard a loud thud & went running & praying into the bedroom thinking she fell out of the crib. Thank God she didn't, she must of been standing & fell backwards bonking her noggin on the headboard. After that ordeal I decided to throw in the towel & let her get up & we'd pick up our lessons after lunch. After she was happy on the & lose I realized I had to switch loads down in the basement =(
So I asked Lan to keep in eye on her as I ran like a maniac at top speed so my babies wouldn't be alone.
After I flew as fast as I could back upstairs I thoroughly enjoyed rollin around on the floor with my Rainbow Baby while the girls watched Micky Mouse Clubhouse. I gotta say, I love that show, it's pretty cute. Well, a little after 12 Hopie started rubbin her eyes & I gave her some lunch & laid her down. As I walked outta her room I looked across the hall to the bathroom & saw wet tissue stuck to the floor. Which only means one thing, Nomi peed on the floor & tried to clean it without telling me. But how could this be??
She was at that very moment laying on the floor watchin her show with the same clothes on.....
well, her pants were all wet!!!!!
I didn't have a good moment then, nowhere near a good moment. I was very very upset. I put her in the corner for not telling me. Peeing on the floor is an understandable mistake, trying to clean it up is actually very responsible but keeping the pee-pee clothes on. Mommy didn't handle that well.
So after I was more clear headed she & I cleaned up the bathroom floor with a bucket of vinegar & water. She kept telling me the floor was "duh-gusting'
Yea!! I know!!!!
The girls are waiting on some Mac n Cheese & so am I. I switched loads again just now & am planning on having some Astronomy & Literature lessons with the girls after we have our vittles. We'll see how that goes.
.....OK, it's now almost 8 pm. Hopie is in bed for the night aside from her 10 pm feeding with Mama, Nomi is eating some cookies for dessert, & Lana just finished up brushing her teeth.
However, I did stop with lunch so let me back up a bit. The girls & I had lunch with some homemade applesauce we made over the weekend =)
Lana wrote a story about "Dan & Jan" & read it to me with her own illustrations. Pretty cool. After a bit of time with me, the older girls played in their room with their princess tent while Hopie & I hung out. A little while after that I went to get the laundry from the basement after dropping a candle holder on my foot...nice. Things are startin to get kinda boring so I'll hit the highlights of the evening~Dan came home & we had a supper of Corned Beef & Cabbage, I just had the taste for it & it was yummy. I had to laugh because while it was cooking Nomi kept saying "something stinks" but she sure did wolf it down!!
During dinner Dan slipped over, looked me in the eye & said sweet things that took my breath away. Those words are mine to hold in my heart...I won't share =)
After wards Lana danced for me & Nomi joined her, it's really sweet~I'm seriously thinking of looking into dance lessons for Lan. She really loves it however, I have to find a place that teaches tasteful dancing. Oh well, that's a whole different subject.
So now, Lana is practicing her reading while Nomi "reads" the story she wrote to Daddy. The night will end as it always does.....
Daddy reads the bible to the girls & pray with them before putting them to bed, they give me "eyes & nose" before running off to be shushed so as not to wake up the baby. They will go to sleep "hopefully" & I do the dishes & get Dan's lunch ready while he relaxes in front of the TV.
I then vedge with him & we may even have a meaningful conversation.
So that's my day in great detail, at least today....who knows what tomorrow will be like.
Oh & on one last note as I finish this up I hear Nomi behind me saying over & over "I farted, I farted, I farted"
Ahhh....to have sweet little ladies ^-^
Sunday, October 24, 2010
30 Posts in 30 Days.....Day 24
Day 24 - where you live
I live in Chicago Ridge, Illinois. I just moved here but I grew up in Chicago. So that's what I'm gonna post about.
Where do I start?
How about Mario's Italian Lemonade, Weber's Bakery, Al's Beef or how bout Home Run Inn Pizza??
Yes, we have some awesome goodies in Chicago~Mario's Italian Lemonade is the best summer time treat ever. If you ever visit Chicago you NEED to take a drive to University Village & have a cup. After some lemonade how about walking across the street for Al's Beef. This place is amazing!! Hot dogs, beefs, sausage, & mmmMMmmMm fresh cut fries.
So good, so good.
OK, enough about food. What about the sights, people, schools?
Well, I home school so don't ask me about schools, the people of Chicago are generally as kind to you as you are to them. And as far as the rumors of insane driving...it's true, we're nuts.
And last but not least there is much to see in Chicago. Downtown Chicago itself has much to offer, museums, parks, Navy Pier...really too much to list.
Wow, I kinda feel like a travel agent.
Mostly what I'd like to narrow it down to is "WHERE I LIVE" everyday & all day. I live in the presence of God. I live with Him paying attention to my heart & often times I forget that He's the unseen guest at my table & in my home. He is important to me but life happens & I neglect what & who's most crucial in my life. My relationship with Him.
So "Where I Live" is with my Savior in my heart & home. I look forward to the day I will live with Him in His.
I live in Chicago Ridge, Illinois. I just moved here but I grew up in Chicago. So that's what I'm gonna post about.
Where do I start?
How about Mario's Italian Lemonade, Weber's Bakery, Al's Beef or how bout Home Run Inn Pizza??
Yes, we have some awesome goodies in Chicago~Mario's Italian Lemonade is the best summer time treat ever. If you ever visit Chicago you NEED to take a drive to University Village & have a cup. After some lemonade how about walking across the street for Al's Beef. This place is amazing!! Hot dogs, beefs, sausage, & mmmMMmmMm fresh cut fries.
So good, so good.
OK, enough about food. What about the sights, people, schools?
Well, I home school so don't ask me about schools, the people of Chicago are generally as kind to you as you are to them. And as far as the rumors of insane driving...it's true, we're nuts.
And last but not least there is much to see in Chicago. Downtown Chicago itself has much to offer, museums, parks, Navy Pier...really too much to list.
Wow, I kinda feel like a travel agent.
Mostly what I'd like to narrow it down to is "WHERE I LIVE" everyday & all day. I live in the presence of God. I live with Him paying attention to my heart & often times I forget that He's the unseen guest at my table & in my home. He is important to me but life happens & I neglect what & who's most crucial in my life. My relationship with Him.
So "Where I Live" is with my Savior in my heart & home. I look forward to the day I will live with Him in His.
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