Christmas Memories

I came across a post from Sufficient Grace Ministries sister site, Walking With You~Bereavement Support. It was about remembering our little ones in Heaven at Christmas.
I need to be totally honest, the thought of Christmas without Isaac & Hannah brings a terrible knot to my stomach. This is my 3rd year without them & the tension in me begins to rise. I start feeling an inner countdown to just survive the holiday.
Now, I think up till right now, at this moment, I've denied that. I really don't think even Dan knows how painful this time of the year is for me. There's a certain amount of guilt mixed in, like I oughta be more happy. It is Christmas after all, & we celebrate the birth of Christ so shouldn't I be really joyful??
Well, I haven't been, although I do smile & enjoy Advent & seeing the excitement on the kids faces, there's the continual dull ache inside me.
Well, this post I read at WWY really challenged me, I don't think that was Kelly's intention. Or maybe it was, but it challenged me.
How can I honor my babies??
In the past I've tried buying an ornament for both Isaac & Hannah but found nothing "good enough" for them. I would just roam the store for an hour & eventually leave sick & crying.
However, this year I was blessed to receive Wings from Angel Wings~Memorial Boutique
so I have some "ornaments" for my babies.

Here's a pic of them both

So I hung them on the tree & you know what? It felt really good!!
Then I read the post from WWY & my mind suddenly felt less fogged & cluttered & I realized my perspective has been all wrong!
Yes, my babies being gone is going to continue to give me that dull ache, maybe til the day I die.
Probably.
BUT......
I need to see this accurately, Christ came to save me. He came to bring me everlasting life through His death & Resurrection & through His overcoming death I not only have salvation, I will see Isaac & Hannah again!!
There will be a day when I will feel no more pain or hurt & I will rejoice in Heaven, praising my Savior. And I will be rejoicing WITH MY CHILDREN!!
Woo-hoo!! Pretty awesome isn't it???
That change in perspective really got me excited about making memories with my girls & including my little ones that are waiting in Heaven for me.
I thought maybe they would like to make ornaments for Isaac & Hannah, & maybe I'll make some stockings for them.
We could write Christmas letters to our babies & release them to Heaven tied to balloons.
There are so many things we could do.
I know it's still gonna be difficult but I think making a conscience effort to find joy in all circumstances will make a world of difference.

Mama loves you my Butterfly Babies....