30 Posts in 30 Days....Day 22

Day 22 - a website that has been meaningful since your loss.

The website that has meant so much to me is NILMDTS.

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep is a wonderful service provided to bereaved parents.
This is their mission statement~
To introduce remembrance photography to parents suffering the loss of a baby with the free gift of professional portraiture. We believe these images serve as an important step in the family's healing process by honoring their child's legacy.

After Isaac & Hannah passed I was so torn up & alone, I felt no one understood what I was going through & didn't know who I could possibly talk to. I stumbled across NILMDTS & their Parent & Family Forum
There I found mothers grieving with me, they were interested in knowing my children. They cared about Isaac & Hannah!! They weren't afraid or awkward when I was angry. They were loving & nurturing when I was broken. I love these women, the friends I've made in this forum.
I wish I didn't need to know them nor they me. But I'm thankful to God that he blessed me with these precious people in my life.

Day 15 & My Angel's Candles

Day 15 - what you like about your house.

What do I like??? Hmmmmm......
Well, we've only been here 3 weeks this upcoming Monday so I'm still discovering new things.
I suppose what I like the VERY MOST is we pay almost 500 bux less then the old place! Woo-hoo!
I also love that we have several awesome parks in walking distance, as well as an activity center & library.
And what do I absolutely positively love??
My sister who is my bestest bestie is 5 minutes away!! I mean I can run & get there in 60 seconds! Mind you if I do that my heart will probably explode as I fall over in a heap on her front step but none the less...I can do it if I want to =)
Well....maybe 120 seconds.

On another note, I didn't post yesterday because I was busy getting my home full of boxes somewhat organized for my "Wave Of Light" Remembrance Candle for Isaac & Hannah.
I needed to put some thought into what I wanted to express. This is my first time participating in the Wave of Light because I've always had a hard time with the candle thing. Growing up I would see candles with Saints on them & people would light them & pray about different circumstances. Deep inside me I didn't want God to think I was putting my babies before Him. So I had to work things out in my heart & do this right.
Glorifying Him & Him alone while remembering my children.

So, I set everything up.
Isaac's shadowbox & his bunny, & Hannah's photo & butterfly. I also had rose petals from their funerals. Their were a total of 6 candles, Isaac & Hannah shared the bigger one while their were 5 tea lights. One for my cousins daughter, my friends 3 Angels, & my big brother in Heaven.

Here is a photo of their candles.......

After we lit the candles I read from Job 1. I read to my girls of how everything Job owned was destroyed & then while still reeling from that disaster he was told all of his children were dead. He answered this terrible news with "Naked I come from my mother's womb, & naked I will depart. The LORD gave & the LORD has taken away, blessed be the name of the LORD. "
Job 1:21
I explained to them that the Lord is ALWAYS good & worthy of praise..even when circumstances tell us otherwise. We then sang "How Great is Our God" which is the song we sang at Isaac's funeral, that was very hard for me. I've sung that song many times since Isaac's death but last night for a moment I was back in that funeral home & it struck me like lightening.
After our time of praise Dan led us in prayer.
The ceremony was bittersweet & painful at times but overall it was healing for me & God was praised.

"You're the name above all names,

you are worthy of all praise

& my heart will sing~How Great Is MY God"

30 Posts in 30 Days....Day 13

Day 13 - a fictional book that is meaningful to you since your loss.

OK, this may seem silly to some. But the book that means a lot to me is titled "Love You Forever" written by Robert Munsch. I received it one Christmas from my aunt. At first I thought it was an accident, that she'd meant to give it to her daughter who had just had a boy that spring. I just had my 3rd girl.
You see, the book is about a mama & her son. Throughout the book the boy goes from baby to adult & you share the Mommy's thoughts of all the hair raising things he does~playing with toilet paper & destroying the bathroom, tracking mud on the floor, playing music loudly with his friends. But every night, Mommy crawls in his room as he's sleeping, right up to his bed, picks him up, rocks him, & whispers sweetly in his ear how much she loves him.
I always thought the book was cute, but wished the author wrote one for girls as well. I read it to my daughters & they thought it was cute & funny too. But it mostly sat on the bookshelf. But, one day after Isaac went to Heaven~I found it. I cried as I read it~thinking of my son & all I missed. However, the book has grown in my heart. I absolutely love reading it now, it doesn't hurt as much, in fact it's one of those sweet things that brings healing to my soul.
To my Isaac my wonderful perfect son "I love you forever, I love you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be"